Connor has taught me so much about being a Mom, about who I am as a person. I've learn and will fully admit that I'm an enabler. I'm not a very good disciplinarian. I have a habit of giving in far too often. While this could easily cause havoc in our lives, it doesn't make my form of mothering in less. If anything, I'm the most perfect Momma Connor J could have been given. God knew exactly what he was doing when he paired Connor and I. The bumps, lessons and fits along the way have been more than worth it.
Daily I'll snuggle up with Connor and whisper in his ear that he is my best guy and as he hugs me back he'll say "You're my best guy too, Mommy." I can't imagine being anyone else's best guy. Even on the worse days of parenting, I know that with one cuddle or adorable comment, all is forgiven. I know that the long days of fits and emotional meltdowns are worth it because we are shaping Connor into the man he will one day be.
I've learned that every stage comes and goes, ushering in a new phase to conquer or even sometimes just barely survive. While Connor has never been a good sleeper, I've decided to take this moments of "hey let's party at 2AM" as a chance to cuddle more. Give attention that's not being dragged away by some other chore and responsibility. I remind myself that there are childless couple out there that would give everything to have a baby to wake up to in the middle of the night. I tell myself that one day he won't need his Momma to cuddle and rock him back to sleep; that the lack of sleep is worth it.
Being a mother has changed me. It's made me love deeper than I ever imagined. I know that without a doubt that Connor has taught me what unconditional love is. He has taught me that being selfish only hurts yourself. Giving love, support and encouragement is what really matters. Connor has shown me that the ups and down of parenthood are worth it. They are something to be treasured; something to be cherished.