Tuesday, February 24, 2015

MTT :: Romance & Parenting


As parents to a 2 year old, finding time for us has been difficult. One of the perks of moving back home was that we would have family and friends to take Connor from time to time, leaving us the chance to have quality time together. Often times, when we do have a sitter, we find ourselves running errands and doing things that would be more difficult with a child in tow. Just this weekend we had my brother in law watch C so we could go to the BMV.

When I added Romance & Parenting to the Mom Talk Tuesday list, I was challenging myself to come up with simple, manageable ways to etch out more us time in a very busy lifestyle. While some of these ideas are less than romantic, I can promise you that they will enhance the time you have together as a couple.

{ONE} Step Away From Your Phone
When you put the little ones to bed, you finally have YOU time. Why would you spend it in the time suck known as social media? The same goes for the time you have that's child free. I am guilty of having my phone within arms reach at all time but that shouldn't be in the case when I finally get a couple hours of James and Stephanie time. Put your phone in your purse and ignore it unless it's your sitter. Enjoy each others company. Don't worry about Instagramming your date. Just be in the date.

{TWO} Make The Most Of The Time You Have
More times then not, the only time we have together is when Connor heads to bed. Plan to cuddle up together and watch a movie, play a board game or tackle a DIY project together. Whatever it is you are doing before bed time, make it something you can do together. If you have a sitter, visit a local place you've been waiting to try. Whatever it is you do, plan your time together so you aren't left looking at each other asking the dreaded question "What do you wanna do?".

{THREE} Pay Attention
Be on the lookout for things your spouse loves and keep a mental or physical list. Then, introduce these little surprises whenever the time feels right. Funny back story: While driving in the car together, a commercial promoting a Kenny Rogers tour came on the radio. James said he would love to see Kenny in concert. Soon after I bought us tickets to the show. Little did I know James was being sarcastic but the best part was that we had one heck of a time at the show and it was one of the best concerts we've seen together.

{FOUR} Talk and Listen
Often time, I spend my days only talking to Connor. I love being able to share our days with James when he comes home. But what really validates what I do all day is when James listens to what I'm saying and asking questions and having a dialogue with me. The same goes for him. He wants to know that what he does, thinks and says matters. Talk to your partner or spouse. Turn away from any distractions and listen to each other. Have more conversations and less dead air. Your relationship will thank you!

{FIVE} Celebrate the Every Day
Life is busy and parenting can take it's toll on you and your relationships. Don't let it ruin what you had BEFORE you were parents. James and I still celebrate our dating anniversary and the 5th of the month marks another month we've been married. If anniversaries aren't you thing, celebrate the end of a long week with a fun dessert on Friday night and a new bottle of wine. Whatever you do, celebrate the every day successes your relationship.

Relationships take work. Toss in a child that is unpredictable and challenges everything you every knew and things start taking on a whole new shape. It's important to remember that you were a couple before you were parents. Take time for each other. Sprinkle in some romance. Love is what got you were you are so hold on to it, nourish it and allow it to flow throughout your relationship with your spouse and your child.


16 comments:

  1. I am so guilty of this I need to step away from the phone!!! I might buy a lock box for it with a time on!

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  2. Excellent advice! I love it. I feel very strongly in keeping the marriage a priority bc I really don't want to become strangers one day!

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  3. I am so guilty that when I put the little one to bed that is my time to catch up on Social Media. I need to be able to just have ME time: )
    Happy Tuesday
    Chelsea @ thewilliamsjourney1.blogspot.com

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  4. We don't have kiddos but we are so bad about getting on our phones and laptops at the end of the day. It's so easy to zone out at the end of the day, especially if you've spent your day interacting with other people. It's tough, but we do have date nights every week, even if it's just a trip to the store or a quick bite to eat somewhere. Putting the phones away is great advice. =)

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  5. Love these tips! And that concert story is too funny. Glad you guys made the best and had fun anyway :)

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  6. love all of these!!! isn't it crazy how much a child changes our world... it's so easy to just focus on them 100% of the time! These are all such great tips - I definitely needed this reminder... I should probably read this daily, hahaha!

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  7. Excellent advice! We aren't parents, but we definitely struggle with balancing our time together. Way too many nights are spent with him playing video games and my face stuck on my phone or laptop.

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  8. Great advice :) We've been struggling with spending the nights in front of computers or phones...this really motivates me to spend our time more productively :)
    Thanks for sharing on Tuesday Talk :)
    Katie
    www.sweetlittleonesblog.com

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  9. Great advice :) We've been struggling with spending the nights in front of computers or phones...this really motivates me to spend our time more productively :)
    Thanks for sharing on Tuesday Talk :)
    Katie
    www.sweetlittleonesblog.com

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  10. The computers and phones are such a time sucker and this is a biggie in our house. The kids go to bed and we veg out with electronics in our hands and watching tv usually. At least we are almost always watching tv together, right??!! Great list!

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  11. Such good advice. Yay for us time.

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  12. great tips. after having a baby you def have to work harder to keep the romance alive.

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  13. great ideas! It is def harder after kids. Marriage isn't rainbows and unicorns, it is something to be worked on together!

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  14. These are such great tips. While I don't have kids, I still think it is important to not spend my entire evening with Brad on our phones. Instead we should talk about our day and the little things that make our day a little bit better. Thanks!

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  15. Yes, yes yes! Nate and I have been putting our phones to sleep when Mason does and it's been amazing! ;) It's so important to have your time together.

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Thank you so much for commenting on today's post. I reply to comments via Disqus so if you are curious as to what I may have to say in response to your message, just visit this post and check your comment. -- xo, Stephanie