Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Multiple Kiddos - A Guest Post

As well all know, I'm a full fledged one and done Momma. So when I encounter ladies who have a desire to add to their family, I can't help but think... what the Hell? Don't get me wrong, our little guy is nearly perfect. But the idea having another c-section, of starting over again, of all nighters, of someone depending on your 24/7 is enough for me to rip my uterus out. #serious.
 
But Mama from The Mama Bomb.com is one of those mysterious parents who welcome the idea of another child. And when I say welcome, I mean she is days away from having baby number two. Today, Mama shares her thoughts on transitioning from a family of 3 to 4.
 
Things are so exciting around our house right now.  Albeit, a little nerve wrecking at the same time.  We have a toddler named Liam, he is twenty months and we are expecting ANY DAY now, another little boy.  I’ve been talking a lot on my blog about our preparations as we get ready for life with two children, but Stephanie was the first person to ask “Why did you decide to have another?”  I saw this post writing itself, “why not?” was my initial response. 
Then, I started digging deep.  Digging deep for an answer for mothers with an only child.  Digging deeper to find an answer that honored mothers who have like 20 kids.  Now, here I am, behind my keyboard the day before this post is to go live. What did I get from my journey of multiple children having self-discovery?
That I must be nuts.
I must be insane.
I must hate sleep.
Love the smell of poop.
Desire to never wear a clean shirt.
Find stretch marks flattering.
Think a clean house is seriously overrated.
I must think date nights are boring.
 
For approximately 25 minutes, I couldn’t think of a positive aspect to having another child. “I’ve served my time,” I thought aloud.  My son is now weaned, he sleeps through the night, he’s potty trained and the two of us are efficient in our days.  I no longer beg my eyelids to stay open or curse my husband for having a job.  Knowing now, at nine months pregnant, there is no turning back; I chose to pray.
“Lord, remind me again why I wanted to do this all over again.  What was I thinking committing to an additional 18 years or so of caring for another human?  Have you met the kid I already have?  He’s spunky.  He’s adventurous, some might even say, hyper.  Am I really cut out for this?  Am I equipped to sustain them and nurture their spirits for as long as they’d have me do so?  How will I do this with no sleep?  Please remind me, God.  Why did I want this second baby?”
After saying a prayer similar to that one, I had to step away from the keyboard a while.  I was truly drawing a blank.  I knew why I wanted to give Liam a sibling, but the words were not in my mind or heart yet.
I needed dinner. 
I needed to play with Liam some this afternoon, and hear him laugh.  I needed to be reminded of the first time I held him.  I didn’t smile with joy, instead I wept.  I wept for this child, he was so beautiful and perfect.  Yet, stuck with me as his mom.  Would I fail him?  Probably a couple times.  Would I love him unconditionally?  Beyond a shadow of a doubt.  I needed to remember that the best decisions I’ve ever make had a little fear behind them, but I always learned later that they were the perfect decisions for me. 
I want to have several little people to love the way I love Liam.  I want him to know the love that comes with having a sibling.  A built in playmate, someone to argue with, someone to stick up for, and someone to make memories with.  I want to stay up late with another beautiful human I grew in my womb.  I really don’t hate scrubbing poo out of diapers, either.  I want to relive someone’s first words, their first steps, and watch them discover the world.  I want to share with this little people in my home, how much God loves them.  I want to remind them day in and day out that God trusted me with their souls.  I want to nurture them, bless them, and pray for them.  I want them to occasionally make me feel like a failure, so I never stop trying to grow as a mother.  
I want to hear these sweet boys call me “mom.” Both of them.
 
Mama, I can't wait to see you grow and discover all the joys of motherhood... again! Congratulations on expanding your family and more than anything, thank you for provided a post that made me truly understand what a Mom to more than one thinks of when making what I'm assuming is a tough decision. You have a beautiful point of view and the boys will be blessed to have you as their Mom.

4 comments:

  1. This is a great post. I definitely would like another one though there are days/nights when I have to remind myself WHY I want another one now that Hunter is so independent. But I really want to give him a sibling/partner in crime who will hopefully be around even after Kristian and I are gone. And even though the baby days are hard the first time was such a blur that I do want to experience it again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can still remember the baby stage oh so clearly so I believe that influences my decision as well. But really, I can't imagine tackling parenthood with another little one. But I will say, you make a true, honest point with wanting a sibling for Hunter to handle life with. Often times, that's the point that gets me.

      Delete
  2. Yep, I totally ask myself a lot why I want a 3rd or possibly 4th. This explains a lot of it.... plus I want a girl ;) (just kidding...kind of)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get your third and I'm sure a 4th will be soon forgotten ;)

      Delete

Thank you so much for commenting on today's post. I reply to comments via Disqus so if you are curious as to what I may have to say in response to your message, just visit this post and check your comment. -- xo, Stephanie