Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Bigger Picture

Today, at a play date James' travel schedule was brought up and one gal mentioned how she didn't know how I do it and another mentioned she would get resentful. 

These thoughts and opinions are totally normal and something I experience and struggle with daily. It's easy to get frustrated when I am the only one taking care of Connor, our pets and the household while James is away on business. But if he had it his way, he would be home. Every night with us. 

Some days, I can't wait until James gets home and I have help. What happens when James is gone and it's just me? I do what I can with what I have. Luckily, C is a good baby 97% of the time. However, the 3% when he is a complete Frankie and I'm close to losing my shit, I start to think outside the box.
We spend a lot of time playing in the backyard. As little as 20 minutes can make a huge difference in Con's mood. I've loaded him up in the car and we've strolled the aisle of Target just up get out of the house and buy us some time. Connor loves people watching and let's face it, Momma loves Target. 
I've mastered our mornings so those go smoothly. It's the hours between 5-830 that tend to be tough. I find if I let him call the shots during those hours, he seems to be pretty happy. If (and this is a big if) he takes a evening nap, it's like Christmas morning and very thing in our world is fresh and jolly. Seriously! Even a short 30 minute catnap helps immensely.
James' job has provided me with the ability to stay home with Connor. Financially we are in a good place. James is feels rewarded with his job and feels confident in his role. It's challenging and he is able to make a difference within the company and with the services NH provides. 
He isn't always going to be traveling. We are looking at the big picture. James wants to be at Connor's practices and special event and games. He wants to be there to see him off to school when he starts. He wants to help with homework and tuck him in at night. The way we see it is if he puts in the hard work now, he will be rewarded greatly in the years to come. 
So yeah, I get tired of being home with only Connor while James is away for a week. Yes, I would love to be able to run errands without a pissed off baby and Lord knows, I'd love to shower before noon. But I know it won't be like this for long. This just a small part of the big picture.


  1. so so so true! I don't know about you but my being home with a traveling spouse lets me get other stuff done so when he is home it's quality time not 500 billion errands. It's hard - totally is - but it's what works best for us (and sounds like you too) at least for the now. Hang in there! A traveling spouse is really hard to understand unless you live it.

  2. You are so right! You are one strong momma but that is awesome you get to stay home with the baby! I know it is worth it!

  3. Yeah, I'm with you there. My husband doesn't travel, but sometimes it sure feels like he does when he's up at the crack of dawn and doesn't come home until we're both fast asleep,day after day. Residency sucks. I handle everything on my own and while there are days where I want to rip my hair out, I know it's temporary, and in a few years he'll be an attending with a better schedule.

  4. I think there is definitely a bit of the "grass is always greener" my neighbor is a SAHM mom and part of me is jealous of the fact she gets to stay home with her daughter all day, BUT her husband is gone a lot for work so in that respect I know she's jealous of the fact my husband is home to have dinner with us every night. There are always pros and cons to every situation.

  5. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth!
    There are so many days S doesn't get home until WELL after I've put M to bed. And, often I'm about 2 seconds away from going off the deep end. But, I know S wants to be home as much as I want him to!
    Just gotta keep breathing and remembering it isn't always going to be this way...

  6. This is so our household. Chris works two jobs and literally is never around. He has one day off. We have one car too, so I can't get out if I wanted to. It is so much to handle at times, but exactly like James - he wants to be home too but can't right now. My grandma, and my mom are both super close so if I do need help or a moment to sit they are always available. And, as much as it would be nice to have Chris around to help I know that he wants to actually spend time with Aria even more than I want him here. Oy that was a long comment, great post though. Good thoughts.


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