Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Right Time

Becoming a parent, deciding to bring a child into the world, doing something so HUGE for the first time, takes a lot of faith, desire and a complete acceptance of the unknown.

One of my best friends (Hi Griff!) is at a point in her life where the "pressure" of having a child is ever present. Her husband (Hi Big Love!) has wanted to be a father for as long as I have known him. Griff, on the other hand, isn't quite ready. And with good reason.

When you starting planning on trying to get pregnant, a million questions and thoughts cross your mind. How are we going to raise this child? Am I going to stay home or return to work after he/she is born? Do we have enough room in our current home for another person? Can our relationship handle the pressures of parenting? Can we afford a child? You get the idea. There is so much to consider, to think about, to weigh the pros and cons of.

Then as the Mom, the one responsible for housing, growing, nurturing this little person for the first 9 months, you think of how much you are going to change, physically, emotionally, mentally. Your body is forever different. Things shift, never to return to normal fashion. You are emotionally drained from the worry, the what ifs and mentally, some moments, you are a complete mess, sobbing, begging to be normal again while others are filled with nothing but laughter and smiles.

Nothing prepares you for being a parent for the first time. You can have a dozen nieces and nephews but nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the changes that come your way when you have your own child. I don't know what advice to give someone considering having a child. Every one is in a different place in their life. There is no right time. There is no perfect situation. I did come across this "How To Love A Child" image and it's pretty dead on, if you ask me.

Once you have a child, your very own miracle, all those worries you experienced before hand fade away and you now worry about how he/she is developing, if you are providing enough stimulation, if you are giving them all the right foods, are you showing them enough affection. It never ends. And that's okay. Because it's not something you can do half-assed or part time. It's a 24/7/365 role that is more fulfilling than anything you've ever done before. 

In the end, all that matters is that you love your child. That you nurture him/her. That you provide a supportive home. That you focus on their happiness. It's not always easy and some days are so much harder than others. But that's part of it.

All the self doubt and worry fades. What's left is this little person who you love more than you ever thought possible. Someone that truly makes your world complete.


Thank you so much for commenting on today's post. I reply to comments via Disqus so if you are curious as to what I may have to say in response to your message, just visit this post and check your comment. -- xo, Stephanie