Tuesday, February 5, 2013


The month of January was supposed to be a fresh start. A new year to make "right", the year you do everything you've always wanted. Set resolutions and stick to them.

January was rough for so many of my friends. A girlfriend lost her grandfather after a quick but painful fight with cancer. A co-worker and dear friend lost her friend and companion to the bottom of a liquor bottle. My Sally lost her Dad so quickly and out of the blue to his dependancy to alcohol. And today, our fabulous friend Bryan is going to say goodbye to his father after months of hospital stays and all that medicine and doctors can do.

I have told each of these loved ones that I am here for them, they can call me. Miles between us or not, I will be there to help them through these rough times, the best I can. I've prayed for their comfort in this time of pain.

I have felt the powerful pain of losing a loved one. I know the ache in heart that doesn't go away. The feeling that this can't really be happening. The want for them to be at the next family gathering. The desire to visit on Sundays for dinner and QVC. To be able to pick up the phone and hear their laughter on the other end. For them to hold their baby's little boy. That when you wake up tomorrow, this is going to be a sick dream.

But you wake up and it's not a dream. And the pain hits with a new force, nearly knocking you to your knees yet again. Your lost loved one isn't here. Instead they are with our heavenly Father and that gives you some comfort. Or it will in time (hopefully).

The pain does go away. At times, it feels like it never could. There is no possible way that the hurt you are feeling will disappear. But it times, it hurts less. Instead of remembering how they were taking from you, you start to focus on the good times and memories. You keep their memory alive, holding it closely as you would them if you could.

You cherish the moments you have with your loved ones still with you. You make the most out of an ordinary day. You pick up the phone even when small talk is the last thing you have time for. You go to that family gathering you've skipped out on years before. You forgive people of wrongs. You remember that tomorrow isn't guaranteed. You love like never before.

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Thank you so much for commenting on today's post. I reply to comments via Disqus so if you are curious as to what I may have to say in response to your message, just visit this post and check your comment. -- xo, Stephanie