Monday, August 20, 2012

Kristen's Words of Wisdom

Last week, I asked my Mommy friends to help educate me in all that is baby (you know, my future and full time job in 2 months). Kristen, who rocks, I seriously have a weird cyber crush on her, has a post up giving me the 411 on all that is baby. You can see her full list over at FNS but here are some of the ones I appreciate the most:

**You can't possible begin to fathom how much sleep you will lose. And now matter how much you are determined to not change your life "just because of a baby", you will. And you'll be glad to. You made the little miniature human. Well you, your Husband or Baby Daddy, and likely a bottle of cheap champagne and a foot rub.

**Colic is real. And it's an asshole.  And there's no cure for it. Gripe Water is bullshit in my opinion and no amount of gas drops help calm the crazies. However, if you do find yourself with a colic-y child, I recommend the biggest bottle of wine and a Xanax (kidding. kinda).

**Don't ever throw a pacifier into the mouth of a non screaming infant. Breaking that habit is a bitch and you will later thank yourself for not forcing that habit. 

**That little pooch of yours won't disappear for a few weeks / months. And for those bloggers who tend to 'show off' their 6 week postpartum six back, you can hit that little unfollow button and tell them to suck your left toe.

**If you can't breastfeed or just simply don't want to, it's FINE. Don't beat yourself up about it. Or think that you're less of a woman / mom for it. You do what works for you. Just don't put your nipples on Instagram. That business is ridiculous. I don't care for any one's aureoles.

**If someone offers to babysit to give you some time off, DO IT. It doesn't happen that often after the novelty of a newborn squishy wears off. And you and your mans will need some time away. Date night once a month? Even if it's to McDonald's or a walk in the park. It will rejuvenate you.

Thanks again Kristen for the words of wisdom and laughs! I truly am looking forward to being a Mommy, Xanax and belly pooches included!

1 comment:

  1. I have to agree with everything Kristen has to say - especially the date night thing. Get out, enjoy your time, otherwise your child (who you'd give anything for) will suck the life out of you.

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