Thursday, July 26, 2012

A Single Seed

Earlier this week, I came across this quote -
"A seed of worry can build a mountain just like a seed of faith can move a mountain.". 

I wasn't sure where the saying originated but I believe it's taken from this bible verse -
Matthew 17:19-20  "Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, 'Why could we not cast it out?' He said to them, 'Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."

I've been thinking about my relationship with Christ. I know it's something that needs improvement. It's not just a part-time relationship either. For myself, my marriage and my relationship with Connor, I strongly believe I need to find us a home church. A place we can be accepted and worship. Keep in mind that I'm not a church goer, bible beater or whatever else you might want to call someone who is strongly religious. However, this hit home. Hard.

I am 27 weeks pregnant. I am nearing the last trimester. The point where we start taking classes and planning Connor's birth and putting together his nursery. There is so much to do and I have started feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. The planning and changes to our home are easy. Tasks James and I can handle. What is weighing on me in the transition from Stephanie, working woman to Stephanie, SAHM.

Am I going to be able to care for Connor in the proper ways? - I must have faith that as his Momma, I will be all his needs (and his Daddy, too, of course!).

Will I be able to run our home in a fashion that makes sense for me to be home full-time? - The faith James has placed in me well be what I need to push me through the rough days of getting everything done.

Is living on one income possible? - I have faith in my marriage that we will do what is best for our family. Even if it means "going with out" or sticking with a budget. 

I hope that the faith I have in myself, my husband and God will be enough to make the transition to a SAHM easier on me and us. It's not going to be easy by any means but I hope it's one that fits into our lives. More than anything, I'm counting on my faith to push the mountain of worry I'm currently carrying away and to open my heart and mind to this amazing experience that lays ahead of us.


5 comments:

  1. Just take each day at a time - you'll figure things out as they come. Once Connor is here, you'll be so overwhelmed with love and all the new things that he's doing, that all the rest will be the farthest things from your mind. You've got this!

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    1. I am hoping you are right but right now, all I can think of it alllllll that needs to be done while caring for a baby! I will be calling you for tips ;)

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  2. You can so do it! It certainly won't happen over night, and you'll probably even find yourself missing your 'old life' at times, but Connor will make it all so very worth it! I'm only 4 months in, but I've learned to just cut myself some slack sometimes...rocking my baby while singing or reading bible stories to her are far more important than my dishwasher that needs to be emptied, bed that needs to be made, floors that need to be mopped, etc. Those things can wait, but my baby is growing and changing every day, and I don't want to miss any of that because I was busy cleaning house! I have faith that you will transition beautifully into Stephanie, SAHM! :)

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    1. Katie, what kind words!! Thank you so very much for the vote of confidence! If nothing, else, since I will be home with him a lot by myself, I figure no one well ever know how I am failing! ;)

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  3. You will so be able to do it! :) If God has called you to it, He will bring you through it! A good quote I've heard. Another one that comes to my mind right now...He doesn't called the equipped, He equips the called. I had so many worries too that I just wouldn't know how to handle certain situations with Adeline...let alone for Justin and I to raise this new human being! However, it all falls into place, I promise. Pray about it all...seriously. I prayed about my milk supply. I prayed that Adeline would calm down when I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her at night when she was fussy. Nothing is too small to hand over to God.

    Congrats and excited for you!! I'm off to find you on instagram! ;)

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Thank you so much for commenting on today's post. I reply to comments via Disqus so if you are curious as to what I may have to say in response to your message, just visit this post and check your comment. -- xo, Stephanie