Thursday, June 14, 2012

Safe

For the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy, I was so cautious. Almost lazy even. I treated my body, the body that was carrying this little bundle of joy, happiness and hope, like it was so fragile. I wanted nothing more than to be able to ward off any harm that could come my way. I must admit, I may have been a little extreme. I just wanted to do everything I could to make this pregnancy "stick". Let me state that I have no reason to worry about losing the baby other than "normal" pregnancy worries. However, after the rough year we had with the loss of James' Mom, Connie, I wanted this baby more than ever. He/She was going to be our new hope, our new life, our new happiness (no pressure baby).

Today is marks week 21. We now know that we are the parents to a little boy, Connor Ross. We have seen him twice, heard his heartbeat 3 times and James and I have both felt him move. The last 21 weeks have been the most amazing weeks. The amount of love I have for this little person, the size of a carrot, blows me away. I think of him often, almost too much. I wonder who he is going to look like. Will he have his Daddy's beautiful green eyes? Will he have his Momma's tiny nose? Will he follow in his uncle's footsteps and love football? Will he be a typical boy who loves trucks and dirt? Most of all, what wonderful things will he accomplish in his lifetime? As much as I will want him to stay little forever, I can't wait to cheer him on as he takes on life.

He is our little boy, our baby. And we will always want to keep him safe.

2 comments:

  1. I had the same feeling during my pregnancy except for at the end instead of at the beginning.

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  2. Its normal to be worried. Try your hardest to enjoy these moments because they are so short. Soon you will be holding him in your arms and missing his little kicks (will will soon be very big kicks!) Pregnancy is such a magical time and while some days it may seem to be going to slowly, soon you will discover it's passed by quickly and you will miss that magic. Birth is bittersweet. The payoff of all these magical months of growing a perfect little human culminates into this one momentous moment and then suddenly you are a family--- its just amazing. :)

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